Do You Trust Me?

I’m really not good at trusting the Lord. So it’s kinda ironic that my job description includes trusting the Lord every day. Whether I am on campus meeting with girls or in the field raising support, I simply cannot function without Him. As a follower of Christ, I believe that not only are His plans for me good, but that they are better than the plans I have for myself. His plans for me are better than the ones I have for myself. Ouch. It stings my pride a little bit to write that, because to the world that seems foolish. And I have always prided myself on being a smart girl, not a foolish one. But claiming Christ means claiming that I trust him AND trust in him, despite what the world wants me to believe.

Raising support for 10 months now and seeing God come through in some pretty radical ways, you would think I would be a pro at trusting the Lord. Some days I deceive myself just enough to think that I am. I get into this groove of thinking, "oh yeah, I’m like a professional missionary. I’ve got this lesson on lock-down, Lord. Now that I trust you, can you quit punishing me and answer all my requests now so I can move on to much bigger and better things? Because clearly, I am ready. Thank you!" Yet the only thing that is made clear in those moments is that I am indeed not ready, as I obviously still have some pride issues that need to be ironed out.

And then there are those days like today, when I begin to drown in waves of doubt and frustration that the Lord reminds me of how little I do trust him. This afternoon I was outwardly preparing to run some errands, but my inner five year old was throwing a silent tantrum. I was grumbling to the Lord about a particularly stressful situation when out of nowhere this image popped into my mind. It was a very specific scene from a movie I have not watched in well over a decade, but I know the scene very well. And as silly as what you will read next may sound, I promise the Lord had a purpose for putting this into my brain…

Aladdin is not one of my favorite movies, but Aladdin himself is one of my all-time favorite characters. Maybe it’s because his character is way more developed than any other Disney prince proto-type. He’s got imagination in addition to his bravery. Or maybe it’s because I always thought that if he were real, he’d actually be kinda hot. Okay, so I had a crush on a cartoon. I digress. Cartoon Aladdin’s looks are not the purpose of this blog. But cartoon Aladdin’s actions are.

In this specific scene of the movie, Prince Ali (Aladdin) is perched on his magical flying carpet hovering above the balcony of beautiful Princess Jasmine. He offers to take her for a spin on the magic carpet and holds out his hand to her, asking, “Do you trust me?” Jasmine pauses and her eyes go wide, as if she has been asked this before. Indeed she has, at the beginning of the film by a young man in the marketplace (Aladdin during his pre-prince days). There is some familiarity in this prince’s voice now, enough to cause Jasmine to ask, “What?" as if trying to recall where she has heard this before. Her question prompts Prince Ali to repeat his question, almost insistently, “Do you trust me?” And with that same hinge of doubt in her voice but a look of curiosity, Jasmine trusts Prince Ali and says "yes." The second grader within you remembers what happens next- they sail around the world on the carpet, they sing “A Whole New World,” they fall in love, yada yada yada. Yet none of what happens after Jasmine said yes matters. The only thing that matters is simply that she said yes.

In the exact moment that I this pictured this scene, I felt the Lord whisper to me, “Do you trust me?” And in that next moment, I realized sadly that I don’t always. Some days I would answer that question with an emphatic, “Yes!”, while on days like today, I have more trouble channeling my inner Jasmine. Today the Lord reminded me that just as the viewers know that it is right for Jasmine to take Aladdin’s hand, it is right for me to trust Him. And even if it took a cartoon to open my eyes, I know that next time and every time the Lord asks me if I trust him, I want my answer to be “Yes!”